You have discovered about tantra and how it can flare up a couple’s sexuality. You may have heard of stories about how tantric sex has enabled a couple to have sex for 17 hours straight and you want it to try it with your sexual partner. However, as you begin to try it yourself, you realize that tantra is not that easy to practice. Here are some common obstacles encountered by couples whenever they explore tantra sexuality.
The spectator/ performer ideal
The Western culture has inculcated the idea that our role in sex is either a spectator or a performer. We turn our attention into watching what is going on, what our partner is doing, and how our body is responding. Becoming conscious of our external performance in sex takes away what tantric practitioners describe as "the moment." In tantra, sex is more that just an act but as a being.
Our sense of judgment
Even in our moments of intimacy, we often see ourselves judging the physical appearances of our partners. Although it would be impossible to become non-judgmental, tantra views judgment during a sexual moment – either with ourselves when we are alone, or with a partner – as a way to keep ourselves separate from the moment.
Comparing past from present
We always expect our latest sex to be the best one yet, and when we become intimate with our partners we tend to compare our current experience with what we have done in the past. This, however, blinds us from experiencing new things and seeing new possibilities. Tantra involves focusing on the present and experiencing each sexual encounter for what it is.
Expectations of the future
The Western idea about sex is often stressed on achieving orgasm. However, tantra puts more focus on the moment, on what your bodies can do at that instant. Focusing on a final goal blurs the real focus of tantric sex, about what is like to get there.