Dealing With Sexual Abstinence

sexual abstinencePeople can have sexual urges and feelings while keeping their abstinence. We make choices about our behaviors to be abstinent or sexually active, and can still acknowledge, experience, and enjoy their sexuality. Remember that sexual thoughts, feelings, emotions, and desires are natural and a healthy part of sexual development.

Abstinence is viewed either as not having any type of sexual experience; or not having oral, vaginal, or vaginal sex; or not allowing penetration but accepting oral sex.

If you acknowledge these feeling but choose not to have any kind of sexual contact, you can redirect this sexual energy into other activities with or without a partner such as:

  • Dancing or exercising
  • Shopping or even window shopping
  • Reading a book
  • Watching a movie
  • Meditating
  • Taking a shower
  • Being with friends
  • Having a picnic in the park
  • Strolling on the beach
  • Playing video games
  • Giving or receiving hugs
  • Holding hands with someone you care about
  • Cooking dinner
  • Dining by candlelight
  • Aside from these, those who decide on getting physically intimate with a partner without having oral, anal, or vaginal sex can do the following:
  • Giving or receiving soft , sensuous, or deep passionate kisses
  • Enjoying a back rub or full body massage
  • Cuddling, caressing, or stroking each other with or without clothes on
  • Slowly and sensuously undressing one another
  • Touching one’s self in front of a partner, with or without touching him or her, with or without orgasm
  • Skinny dipping in a pool or pond
  • Taking a shower or bathing together

There are many reasons for a person to become abstinent, including religious or cultural views as well as personal or family values. Some are abstinent because they are simply not ready to have sex. It is important to think about what abstinence means to you, and then to live by that belief.

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