According to psychiatrists, therapists and other experts, sex addicts are people who use sex to cope with life’s stresses or medicate their feelings. The individual is incapable of stopping this kind of sexual behavior for a long time by themselves. The individual also spends a lot of time pursuing his/her sexual behavior and/or fantasies or he/she may go on sex binges.
Reasons why people become sex addicts
If your boyfriend is a sex addict, the following are the reasons why he became one.
Biological – he has conditioned his body to receive endorphins and enkephlines mainly through reinforcing a fantasy state with ejaculation that provides the two chemicals to his brain.
Psychological – he uses sex to medicate or escape physical, emotional or sexual abuse. He stumbled upon sex (as a substance to cure his problems) before alcohol or drugs.
Spiritual – he uses sex to fill the "God is absent" hole in him. The addiction to sex is their spirituality and it comforts and celebrates them. It is always available and present.
There are sex addicts who can be a combination of two or all three reasons.
Cornerstones of sex addiction
According to experts, masturbation is the most common form of sex addiction. Pornography coupled with regular masturbation is the "cornerstone for most sex addicts."
What partners of sex addicts go through?
Contrary to what most people may think, sex addicts do not always have sex with their partners. If you have been noticing that he doesn’t want to do it with you, and instead prefers to ‘fulfill his fantasies’, your boyfriend is going through a later stage of sex addiction – what experts call "sexual anorexia".
Partners of sex addicts report many similar feelings. They feel alone because, first their partners can’t open up to them. Second, because they feel ashamed and feel that they can’t turn to anyone for comfort.
These women also admit that they experience confusion brought about by the fact that even after doing certain sexual behaviors, it is still not enough. Confusion is coupled with hopelessness, thinking that it will never be enough. Lastly, partners of sex addicts are angered, because, first, their needs as a person and as a woman are not met.
What you can do?
Experts say that the best route for recovery is to see a sex specialist. Know also that there is help for you as a girlfriend or wife, even if your partner refuses to admit his condition.
With all that you have to go through or have gone through, being with a sex addict for a period of time, your feelings have to be dealt with therapeutically. You also have to realize that your partner’s addiction is his own doing.