A break up usually comes with bitterness and anger towards an ex. Whether it is a breakup of a marriage or any other relationship, it is normal that both parties may still harbor some rage or resentment toward each other. But as time passes by, some of these feelings may die down a bit. Some of the emotions may still be there. But it may no longer be as hurtful as before.
Even after a breakup, there may be this need to talk to an ex. While some people prefer to stay away and cut of contact forever, certain things may require former couples to meet up and talk about certain issues. Sometimes, it is a good way to get over what has happened and then move on. But the first approach is always the most difficult. Here are some tips to help you gather strength and face your ex again without the problems.
Work on controlling your emotions.
While it may be difficult not to be emotional in such cases, you need to handle yourself well when meeting with your ex. This means getting hold of your anger and pain and not let that cause trouble when you meet up with your ex to talk. Try to be objective and talk about the important matters instead of trying to talk about the past and what has happened. It will only bring out the emotions and cause a divide between you and your ex.
Visualize the encounter prior to the actual meeting.
Visualizing the situation is one way to help you avoid making a scene when meeting and talking with your ex. Visualization helps you go through certain situations before they happen. This way, you can prepare how to act when the actual situation really comes up.
Sometimes, the emotions and the hurt may amplify once you get to meet with your ex for the first time. But is it important that you stay focused on the task at hand. You may need to talk with your ex because you need to clear out some issues for you to move on. Make sure that you concentrate on that instead of highlighting the pain and the hurt you felt before and after the break up.
When you finally talk with your ex, make sure that you should also be attentive and have a ready ear to listen. Sometimes, the hurt and the pain can dull the senses, especially your hearing. It can cloud your mind from becoming more objective. Try to listen to what your ex has to say and see it from a different perspective.