These days, even if we live in a more modern time, some people still hold on that "social double standard" (whether they meant to or not). That is why some would still find surprising when they see an older woman going out with a much younger guy.
Although gone are the days when such women were called cougars, cradle-robber, or worse, child molesters, these women who believe in equality would get outraged at this double standard hurled against them. They claim that if the guy would be the older one in the pair, there would not be a problem at all.
Such May-December relationships still challenge today’s norms, and it is slowly gaining acceptance especially when the media featured several relationships with the woman being the older one of the two. Celebrity couples like Demi Moore and Asthon Kutcher as well as Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake have somehow proved that it may longer be in bad taste or taboo for women to bridge the age gap by dating a younger man.
How do such relationships happen? What are the pros and cons on May-December affairs? Here is our attempt to answer your queries.
Women in May-December relationships are not desperate – Contrary to popular belief, females who are in a romantic relationship wherein they are older than their partners take a no-holds-barred approach to dating. They refuse to be someone desperate and would settle for whatever man would come their way. They go after what they want and who they want. In this case, they want a young virile man with plenty of testosterone.
Women in May-December relationships are still sexually active – They simply refuse the old adage that women beyond 40 are sexually obsolete. For them, this is better than sitting at home mourning their fate as their ex-husbands find some sweet younger woman. They are definitely taking steps to change this misconception.
They believe that love is ageless – Love is timeless and therefore age difference should not matter, particularly if our eyes seem to be locking with those of our soulmates. However, some people believe that such relationships are doomed in the end. Sooner of later, generational differences would cause them to go their separate ways.
The relationship brings out the maturity of the younger male – They say they women dating a much older man is not only a pleasurable experience but also helps with their maturing process. This flow of thinking is being applied to younger men dating much older women.
It can take on a parental quality – With someone being much older in a relationship, there would be instances where the older one of the pair would act like the motherly/ fatherly figure. There is nothing worse than having to beg the younger male lover to make his bed in the morning. Meanwhile, older male may become frustrated with their younger partner’s desire to go to club parties and worsen their hearing problems in the process.
The younger partner may become too dependent – Younger lovers tend to regress and lose their direction in life once they find themselves safely secured in the arms of an older lover.
May-December relationships are prone to embarrassment – Such partnerships are subject to awkward moments especially with other people who would know about the relationship for the first time. For instance, it would be irritating to hear colleagues saying, "I didn’t know you have a son!"
It can be temporary – Because of certain biological certainties, May-December relationships are viewed as temporary simply because the older individual is fated to die before the younger partner. Putting the younger partner through this kind of grief may not be fair, resulting for the relationship to be severed before such an event would happen. Another biological risk is the loss of sexual drive on the part of the older lover. Although the younger partner may swear that they would never leave their partner, the sad truth is that most people do not look or act the same at fifty-five as they did at forty-five.
Childbearing can be a concern – As the older woman undergoes menopause, so puts a risk of ending the relationship as well. It may not be a concern for men who retain their sexual drive even on old age, but older women would have to put up with her partner’s desire to have a child of their own. Adoption may be an option for such couples who would withstand their love for one another.
It is also beneficial – The younger person benefits from the older partner’s wisdom and experience, while the older lover feels revitalized by the ego boost they get from having someone so young finding them attractive. It is also highly likely that the younger one would embrace change more readily than the older one.