All couples have difficulty in keeping the desire for each other. When people are together for quite some time, they often end up sapping each other’s freedom all for the sake of keeping a connection and safety that can be viewed as illusory. When couples end up clinging to each other, they remove the very erotic vitality out of their relationships. The element of surprise slowly dies down, creating a fixed, flat, and boring environment. This is why married couples often experience boredom years after they have exchanged vows.
The lack of sex between couples does not only occur among those who have created a barrier against each other, but also to those who still love each other yet the desire has long gone.
Some relationship advisers warn against couples being too close to each other. The lack of desire should not be faulted on the lack of closeness, rather on too much familiarity. Caring for each other may have created an atmosphere of mutuality and nurture for each other, but this block the freedom needed to experience desire with the one you love.
One way to bring back desire between couples is to create an element of surprise towards each other, maintaining an interest. Relate to each other as if you do not know them yet, not because you are pretending to be a stranger to your love, but because you are welcoming the unknown. Creating an element of mystery to your partner sparks excitement towards each other, building the desire that has long gone.