Many bisexual men are in monogamous and faithful relationships with women. These men are able to accept their attractions for other men without the need to become sexually involved. On the other hand, there are those men who locked in an ongoing battle to fulfill their sexual desires with and their commitment to their spouse.
Because of fear, guilt or shame, these men tend to lead double (or secret) lives. On a more positive side though, there are those whose relationship with their spouse are all about honesty, openness and tolerance. The wife or girlfriend is aware of her husband’s or boyfriend’s sexual orientation and accepts his lifestyle. Some rules or limits may be set.
Some bisexual set-ups that are not uncommon include:
- Women becoming sexually involved with their partner and his lover/s while others may also seek lovers outside of the original relationship.
- A bisexual couple may seek other couples or singles on a permanent or casual basis.
- Triads or two couple relationships living under the same roof and raising children.
- Group and communal situations.
However, because bisexual men are still/also attracted to women, they sometimes seek other women, even couples or transsexuals. For some women (spouses or girlfriends) this is very hard to accept.
Other women can pose as a direct threat to a relationship because, unlike another man, she is seen as a competition to satisfying the needs of the bisexual man. Another man may be viewed as complementing the original or existing relationship because he satisfies the needs only a man can give and to a bisexual man.
Making a Bisexual Relationship Work
The key to making a bisexual or mixed sexuality relationship work is good communication, honesty, and above all, acceptance. Seeing a counselor – preferably one that is not bi or homophobic – can also help. Both you and your partner can work through the issues concerning your relationship.
Bisexual couples who are in an "open" relationship need to think about their health. If you or your partner is having unprotected (vaginal or anal) sex with other men, women or transexuals, there is a great risk of infection with HIV or STD. Imperative that you both see your doctor or sexual health clinic.
Seek testing for yourself or introduce safe sex into your relationship with him (and your other partners – if you are seeing other men or women), or you can encourage your husband or boyfriend to practice safe sex with his other partners.