Is It Okay to Have Sex On The First Date?

couple of men"Our first date went perfect, there’s no reason not to have sex." "We only get one chance sometimes, so I grabbed the opportunity when my date invited me to his home. It was a blast." "Why should I waste my time dating some girl only to find out after more than four dates I’m not sexually with her? I must know it on our first date."

These are typical responses of many gay men and lesbians when asked about having sex on the first date. But is it really OK to have sex on your very first meeting? If both parties agree to date and have sex afterwards, hitting a home run (or more) on the first date is perfectly OK. But if the motivation for your date is more than sex, should you go for it?

Let’s do it

Many gay men and lesbians who are having sex on their first encounters reason out that a beautiful evening need to end with some fun. This reason of having fun alone says it all. Some people are just very sexual and their way of capping a great date is to end in bed together. There’s nothing wrong here, as long as there’s a mutual consent.

Efficiency is another reason for this practice. Sex on the first meeting is more efficient than the widely held practice of waiting until the fourth or fifth date. And it is definitely more efficient than the Latter-day Saint practice of waiting six or more weeks and going to the temple together before having sex.

Are you wondering whether he/she likes you? Sex on the first date shortens this awkward stage of dating. In addition, sex straightens things up if your potential partner is just dating you for sex and has no plans whatsoever of calling you back after – you can eliminate him/her and start finding the one who’s looking for more than sex.

Another reason is that once the sexual pressure subsides, both you and your date have a clearer mind to face serious questions such as what else is worth pursuing. Are you both interested in pursuing a relationship?

The downside of sex

Some sex experts say that boinking on your first date can have negative consequences. According to sex therapist and psychologist Michael Hendricks, having sex too soon builds a relationship that is more likely based on fantasy, "You don’t really know who the person is…You’re filling in the rest with fantasy.

The longer you know the person the more it’s based in reality." Many gay men and lesbians also think that an extraordinary sexual connection will result in a great emotional connection, which certainly doesn’t always happen.

In addition, while sex on every first date can be fun, it can get dangerous, given the fact that the cases of HIV/AIDS are on the rise. It can also be very tiresome.

For Adena, a 21-year-old bisexual from D.C., sex without commitment can be healthy but too much is not good. "It can be fun to just go at it because you find the other person hot and this feeling is mutual. I think there is a place and time for that kind of sex in everyone’s life…For me, at least, I know that sex with emotional attachment is far better than the one-night stand thing."


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