For a gay guy, nothing can be more amazingly maddening than falling for a straight guy. Having a relationship is in itself intoxicating but falling insanely in love for the guy of your dream (who’s straight from head to foot), you feel invincible somehow. The mere acts of kissing, holding hands, and embracing are acts of greatest defiance and victory against the fate, the gods, and all those mortals who predict your relationship is bound to fail.
But this is only the honeymoon phase. When reality bites, a gay guy’s brief escapade with happiness usually comes to a devastating halt.
A gay man can fall in love with a straight man. And, although debatable, a straight man can also fall for a gay man. The problem, however, is that the society is still not ready enough to accept gay-gay or gay-straight relationships. Many people believe that a heterosexual relationship is an ideal relationship. This mean that any relationship other than this is doomed to fail. Even gay men accept this claim.
For example, a gay man was asked whether a permanent and long-term gay-straight relationship is possible. He answered: "Ironically, no. Straight-gay relationships, though satisfying in vast, diverse ways, can hardly be considered as ideal. A form of masochisism some would say. Straight men are for women. Crap but true. It is inevitable that one’s biological instinct would prevail. Societal pressures also take its toll on the relationship and eventually it will not be able to withstand these pressures."
But he recognized that there are exceptions, "no matter how microscopic, how seemingly insignificant. Permanence is still a possibility. In a relationship, in its most basic definition, only requires two individuals, two…not necessarily man and woman, nor man and man. If two people can make things work out, irregardless of gender, then long-term companionship is possible."
Gays for gays, straights for straights
Many gay men choose to avoid having relationships with straight guys. They argue that if the guy is really straight, he’ll wake up one day and realize that a heterosexual relationship is all he wants. They also say that failure rate of gay-straight relationships is most often guaranteed. Compared with heterosexual relationships, gay-straight relationships confront seemingly insurmountable obstacles: family and peer pressure and the straight guy’s natural instinct to like the opposite sex.
On the other hand, a gay-gay relationship is much easier to handle because partners have the same interest and a comfortable circle of friends. In addition, they don’t need to hide their relationship as much as when they’re with straight partners.
Making the relationship work
Here’s how you can make a gay-straight relationship work:
Straight guys are often impatient, so try to be patient without giving up your sanity. You also need to adjust without being abused emotionally and financially – the hardest part in this kind of relationship. Don’t over-tolerate your partner by things you think are unnecessary or too much. You must respect yourself by showing him that you’re special even though you’re gay.
Most men who enter a gay-straight relationship feel they’re are not given much importance by people around them them. Thus, you must appreciate him. In addition, you and your partner should become bestfriends. This is perhaps the most effective way to make your relationship work in the long-term. Finally, bring up positive moods when you’re together, making him easy and comfortable towards you.