Jimmy and Randy are very much in love and have been together for more than a year. They’re now moving forward by living in together. There seems to be a problem, though: Jimmy is 23 and Randy is 40. The big age gap is driving people surrounding Jimmy crazy, especially his family who strongly opposes their plan to move in together.
While the partners fit together perfectly when it comes to goals, interests, and maturity, the world seems to be against them. Can a big age gap in a gay relationship work? Looking at the advantages as well as the disadvantages of entering into an age-gap relationship, this article concludes that such relationship can work.
An older gay guy may be attracted to a much younger guy because of his vitality, energy, and youth. On the other hand, the younger guy may be looking at his partner’s maturity and how he’s more settled. However, some partners only see superficial qualities and say their younger partners make them feel "young again".
What about when your partner is 20 or more years older? Will you still feel young again"? A great relationship shouldn’t be founded on boosting each other’s ego. It probably won’t last.
Many gay couples in an age-gap relationship say they share the same goals. Do they really? Many couples tend to entice one another when they start a relationship by making false claims. This is dangerous as it can result in heartaches later on.
If you’re really serious about making a commitment, then it will do you good by being completely honest with your partner and yourself. The relationship can turn ugly later on if both of you don’t express openly what you expect from your relationship.
A younger guy who has a relationship with a much older guy may be the latter’s second or even third or fourth serious partner. This may also be the younger guy’s first serious relationship and so he may not possess as much history and experience as his partner does. This is when emotional baggage comes into the picture.
Ex-boyfriends (or ex-girlfriends) may still have a claim on your partner, especially if they still love him. Many exes aren’t concerned about their ex-partner’s new partner; others are controlling and so jealous.
Some couples in age-gap relationships don’t last because one or both parties harbor feelings of jealousy. A common concern is being left for an older or younger guy. If this relationship is to work, you must overcome jealousy.
To conclude, an age-gap relationship can work. Age isn’t necessarily the issue, but how you’re willing to deal such issues as motives for the relationship, goals in life, emotional baggage, and jealousy. The relationship won’t work if it’s founded on a fleeting fancy, but it will work if it has a solid base.