Considering the legal sanctions against gay marriage, living and moving in together is a very important decision for homosexual couples. It can mean the maturation and development of their relationship. It can also symbolize the deepening commitment and the desire for more concrete definition as partners.
Moving in together is sweet and romantic, but it’s a life-defining decision that mustn’t be made on impulse or lightly. You and your partner could face a lot of melodrama, pain, and stress later if you enter this arrangement without careful thinking and preparation.
This article gives some facts about moving in together, questions to consider to assess whether you are ready for this arrangement or not, and suggestions to help you with your decision making.
Facts on cohabitation
Living together will change your relationship. This is more serious than when you two were just dating. Another fact is that cohabitation will not help your troubled relationship. If your relationship was hurting from the beginning, the issues will only worsen when you live under the same roof.
Compromise and flexibility are needed when you move in together. Both of you will have to give up certain degree of independence. Finally, if you or your partner are still hiding in the closet, moving in together will be very difficult. You will have to be ready to face the reactions of the people you love.
Here are some guide questions to consider when arriving at a decision about living with your partner: Why do you want to cohabitate? What does moving in together mean to you? What are your motives? What do you expect from this arrangement? How will you consolidate? Where will you live? How will you manage domestics and finances? Is it the right time?
If your primary motivation is financial security or convenience or you think cohabitation is a "must," then do not enter such living arrangement. Move in together only if you and your partner are completely committed and comfortable to each other, very confident that you are compatible, and do not doubt the fact that you are a perfect fit.
What to do to make the cohabitation a success
Before moving in, make sure that you are fully committed not only to each other but also to the process of cohabitation. Make sure that you are also honest and open about anything and have a concrete foundation of mutual respect and trust.
Communication is a key component in making the living arrangement work. You and your partner must share your joys as well as fears and concerns with each other. Make sure that the channels of dialogue are always open.
Also, set some rules and define your home climate before living together. Moving in together also means that both of you must share decision making, so ensure that both of you have a good system for productive problem solving. Finally, it is crucial that you practice living together first before doing the actual thing.