Divorce is devastating to the entire family. It is especially painful for couples who have been married for a long time. Of course depending on the reason for the split, it does not mean however, that you can’t be friends with your former spouse. You may have lost a spouse, but maybe you can gain a friend. People who become friends after a divorce make a conscious effort to try to be friends with their former spouse. Here are some tips that can help:
Always put your kids’ interests first.
Always take the high road. Be mature and do the right thing even if it’s hard.
Don’t expect things to be okay quickly. Stay polite, especially when the divorce has just happened. Emotions may still be in limbo. Plus, do not let those things that annoy your during the marriage get in the way of being civil or friendly.
If you are the one who wanted to get divorce, be very sensitive with regards to matters of friendship. Your former spouse may not be ready to be friends yet. They may still be hurt from the loss of your marriage. Let some time pass before seeing each other again. Take as long as you feel is necessary.
Your love and chemistry may be gone, but if you honestly want to be friends with your ex spouse, take things slowly. Do not bring up old issues or play the blame game. Also, do not go the what-might-have been road. Focus on making the transition from your old life to the new one as easy as possible for all concerned.
Think of the vows you took when you got married. You can still keep them. Use them in friendship terms: promise to always treat one another with compassion, to tolerate feelings, and always respect each other’s wishes while having their best interests in mind.