Dating After Divorce

dating after divorceGoing through a divorce is a tough road, and the pain would linger for the time being. However, that doesn’t mean your love life is doomed. Of course, you can date, but would it be detrimental to your divorce, especially if it is not settled yet?

Fortunately, there are answers.

When to date – When to go back on the dating scene after divorce would depend on how your state law views fault in divorce, on how long you have been separated from your previous spouse, on what your lawyer thinks about dating during divorce, and on how you feel about dating while you are still married. Another issue to ponder is whether your budding relationship would be used against your custody fight.

Decide on your own – However, you can begin to date other people if you feel it’s time to do so and when you feel that the new person in your life is right for you.

Improve yourself – Physical changes would be inevitable when it comes to getting over a disastrous relationship, whether you are a man or a woman. Get a new haircut, get going to the gym more regularly, watch what you eat, and buy yourself some flattering new clothes that make you look good.

Don’t look for someone different – Resist the temptation of finding someone who is completely different from your ex-spouse. Keep in mind that there were a lot of things about your ex that were appealing at one time. However, if you found someone you are attracted with but has a different personality from your ex, remember to put your heart over your head.

Take it in stride – People say that the first relationship after divorce is not a stable long-term relationship, but it can be a time of delightful discovery of your playful side. This should be the time when you need to reestablish your own personal identity, and this first relationship is a part of your healing process. Remember not to jump into conclusions that he or she "is the one". You are probably less ready than you think.

Dealing with your children – Bear in mind that you children are going through the same grieving process as you do. Although they want to support your moving on with life, they simply could not do it and at time would even try to sabotage your dating plans. It is not an uncaring gesture on their part, but they are dealing as effectively as they can with their grief over your separation and divorce.

Be patient – Make it clear to your children that your dating is an adult issue, and that you date would never and could never replace their other parent. However, getting your children to understand that does not happen overnight, but it will improve over time.


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