The Role of the Mother of Groom

You son has all grown up and is about to get married. At this moment, you have earned the responsibility as the "Mother of the Groom". They say that mothers of the groom are only supposed to show up on the wedding day, but at this day and age, both the bride’s and groom’s families have their respective duties and responsibilities starting from the wedding preparation. Here is a useful guide that every Mother of the Groom should know.

The role of the Mother of Groom – Your role vary from country to country, region to region, and even family to family. However, the mother of groom (and often the father of the groom as well) is expected to do the following: plan and host the rehearsal dinner; draw up a guest list for the groom’s side (limiting to how many guests you are allowed to invite); attend the bridal shower, and bring a gift; and help the father of groom to make a toast at the rehearsal dinner. If there will be a mother-son dance at the reception, help choose a song for it.

Lend a helping hand – Aside from the responsibilities mentioned above, the mother of groom can also offer her services in researching for wedding vendors and resources, as well as making craft projects for the wedding such as welcome bags. You can also introduce yourself to the bride’s family, and help introduce the rest of the families to each other.

What to pay – The groom’s parents traditionally pay for the rehearsal dinner, their own wedding clothes and transportation (although some couples provide suits and dresses for their parents as well), and their wedding present. You may also help the groom with details that he is supposed to be responsible for such as the honeymoon, the bride’s engagement ring and wedding ring, the wedding bouquet and boutonnieres, and marriage license.

What to wear – Ask the bride’s mother what she plans to wear and take your clues from her. It would be awkward if she wore a casual suit and you appeared in a ball gown. You need to coordinate (but not match) each other’s clothes in terms of style and color. You also do not want to upstage the bride by wearing a loud color like red, or even white. You can look for your wedding wear at the department store or bridal salons. Make sure you check the price tag (since most dresses are jacked up once the word "wedding" is mentioned) and that you could be able to wear it again on another function.

Be diplomatic – What should you do if you do not like something (or anything) at your son’s wedding? Nothing. You can only provide some helpful advice during the preparation, but try not to become intrusive or nagging. Remember that the relationship with your son and your future daughter-in-law is more important than what color the bridesmaids wear.


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