How to Discuss Having a Baby

having a babyYou and your spouse have embarked on a new chapter of your lives: being married to each other. After feeling the highs of matrimony and honeymoon, you begin to feel the pressure from your parents, in-laws, and friends, about getting pregnant. It is best that you follow your gut feeling on whether you feel like you are ready to bear a child.

Initiate a discussion

Ideally, you should have had a preliminary talk with your spouse about having children before the wedding, since not everybody is just as excited about the prospect of having children becoming part of a marriage. However, since everything in this world changes including one’s opinions, discuss about this matter as a couple after the wedding.

Do not fall into pressure

You parents, friends, and other relatives have no say in whether you should get pregnant. Listen to your heart and your spouse, then make a decision that works for both of you. Remember that deciding to become a parent is a huge decision in life, since having a baby would involve a lifetime of work.

Consider different possibilities

Ask yourself and your spouse whether you like kids, whether getting pregnant would disrupt your careers and how that would make you feel, and whether you could afford raising a child. You need to determine if both of you are emotionally, physically, and financially prepared in bringing a child into the world. You also need to realize whether your marriage is strong enough for pregnancy and child rearing, since a baby could add stress to the relationship.

Determine when you are ready

You need to make sure that your marriage is built on a strong foundation before you bring another life into the couple. If you and your spouse end up bickering all the time, having a difficult time adjusting to living together, or feeling lonely or unloved, you should work on your marriage first.

Choose whether to accept sacrifices

A lot of decisions should be made before becoming ready to take the plunge. Determine when is the right time to conceive, taking note that the woman-who will be the one getting pregnant-must consider her career. If she minds taking the time off that will be required during the pregnancy and right after delivery, perhaps you need to put the baby making on hold.

These days, even fathers are taking paternity leaves especially during several days before his wife’s labor, which also means sacrificing his career. Other things to consider include you ages, which affect fertility and the level of energy you might have for raising kids, as well as the woman’s health and body.

 
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