How to Break The Bad Boy Habit

bad boyPerhaps you hooked up with several bad boys this year or you are in an on-again off-again relationship with a bad boy. Either way, you seem to be addicted to bad boys. And it’s a bad habit that you need to break. For a change, why not hook up with a genuinely good guy? But first you got to free yourself from the clutches of evil (okay, that’s a bit harsh) – that bad boy in your life. Here’s what you can do:

Write a list of all the bad things he has done to you.

Women have a tendency to ‘forget’ every single bad thing bad boys ever did to them. They choose to not think about it. You know how it is. He’s been really terrible lately, but then one day he’s (suspiciously) nice, then you tend to forget everything because you are so happy about being treated nicely (for once).

But if you decide to break the habit, you need to force yourself to remember. Write down every single time he lied, cheated, made you cry, did not return your call. Put it up on your wall or a part of your room where you can always see it and be reminded – preferably next to his picture (if have not thrown it out yet) so you’ll "see" how mean he is.

Stop having sex with him.

Because (more often than not) he’s only using you. Plenty of women keep bad boys in their life for way too long. It’s unhealthy because it prevents you from meeting other people. And when you do meet someone, he usually doesn’t get a chance to prove himself because you are still focused on Mr. Bad. By continuing to sleep with the bad boy, your are only prolonging the chemistry you feel for him. This is the reason why you do not feel attracted to that nice guy who’s been ogling you. Your hormones are still wired to that bad guy.

Realize that nice isn’t boring.

Nice guys get often get (unfairly) labeled boring. This is not true. Just because they dress up neatly, are clean cut and their hairs are not done up in dreadz or do not fall across their faces does not mean they are boring.

Consider this. Aren’t bad boys the ones who are boring because you already know that they are going to treat you badly? If you break up with the bad boy, it’s easy to predict that he’ll want to get back together with you for his own selfish reasons.

And when you do get back together with him for – the Nth time, it’s easy to predict that he’s going to flirt with other women – in your face, or cheat on you. And you can predict that after a few days he’ll make you feel ugly and miserable again.

Where’s the thrill in that kind of relationship? Whereas, with a nice guy, you’ll get nice, little surprises like waking up to a yummy,healthy breakfast (with a bouquet of your favorite flowers) when your sick. Or telling you how beautiful and smart you are when you’re down. Also, know this. Good guys don’t finish last. They last to finish.

Ask yourself why you keep going for bad boys.

There must be a reason why you keep going after these deviant types. Perhaps you are addicted to drama. Or maybe you experienced abuse in the past that you keep going towards what is familiar to you. Maybe you do not know what qualities you should look for in a man. Take some time to reflect on and learn about things. If you feel like you need it, see a therapist along your way to breaking your bad boy habit.

Remember that bad boys really are bad.

A lot of women fall for bad boy types because they have some kind of appeal. Woman fall for the "brooding artist" type because they think they can make him happy. Some go for the "rock star" type because it’s the next best thing to dating an actual rock star.

Then there are those who go for the that bad boy with a juvy record and who likes to mess things up because the think they can change him. Whatever the case maybe, remember that bad boys really are bad. Really. At first, being in relationship with a bad boy seems fun and sexy.

But in reality, he’s mean and having a relationship with him is can be harsh. What’s worse is that they don’t change. What you should do is get rid of that "fun and sexy" image of that bad boy in your head. Now go. Get yourself real good guy for a change.


One comment

  1. This is a GREAT concise but complete explication of the bad boy phenomenom!

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