One of the things you’ll notice when you date in college is that your relationships tend to be more serious – compared to dating when you were in high school. Perhaps it has something to do with age. Add to the fact that more people today marry later in life.
Yes there are still some people who marry their high school sweethearts, but when you date in college there’s that feeling that it’s serious. Perhaps because you are much more mature. And the possibility that it could lead to engagement puts a very different perspective on things.
Not that serious
But then again, there’s that feeling of freedom that college men and women tend to stay away from very serious relationships and just go for casual dating. Plus, college is an opportunity for young adults to meet a wider and more diverse group. It’s a good idea to meet people with different personalities.
Which is better?
Neither one is better. It depends on you. If you meet someone you are compatible with and if you feel it is right then go ahead and have a serious relationship. But then again, do not feel that you have to be serious just because you are in college. You can be an exclusively dating college couple but with no immediate marriage plans.
Campus life provides an opportunity for couples to spend a lot of time together. Thus, some couples have a tendency to spend almost all their time together and neglecting their relationships with other people. Remember that college is also provides opportunities for you to form close bonds with other people. If you spend all your time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, then you will be keeping yourself from creating these bonds. Just think, if you broke up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, who’s going to be there to comfort you?
Challenges in a college relationship
Think: exams, thesis, research, choosing your major, career path. All of these things put a strain on your relationship. If you and your partner are already settled in your careers, then you can focus more in you relationship.
Of course, this does not mean that you have to focus only on your relationship – you have to think more about yourself than your relationship. And focusing on yourself is hard to do, particularly if you do not know what you want.
Is it Love?
You and your partner may feel like you have a lot of things in common, life, classes, professors, and people. But have you ever thought about life outside campus? Perhaps you share little more than your educational pursuits.
One test to see if it is love, examine what your usual topics of conversation are. If you mostly talk about college and other campus related things, then you’re just a college couple. You can try dating after college just to see how you are together outside the campus before making any further plans.
Also, consider this. College brought you together, but careers can pull you apart. Graduates either leave town to pursue a career, go to graduate school or simply go home. Do your plans match? Are willing to make changes in your plan to be with your partner?
You may have changed greatly throughout college, but there you will mature even more in the first two years after college. That is when you start building you career. You might not want to settle down yet until the two of you are more established.
If you still want to pursue your relationship after graduation, look for ways to make it work. If neither of you have job offers yet, you can move to another city which offers good prospects for both of you. If your partner already has a job offer, consider if you can follow him/her to where he/she will be working. Perhaps you will be able to continue on the same path together.
You can also opt to go separate ways and have a long distance relationship. But there is no guarantee that your relationship will work out. The key is to do not give up your plans until you are sure that your relationship is more important than anything.