Dealing with a Possessive Partner

Jealous boyfriendThe good news is, it’s ok to be jealous. It’s a normal human emotion and all of us have felt it at some point in our life, probably frequently. A mild jealousy in a relationship is also natural; when you find your partner paying attention or admiring another man or woman, or if you find you don’t get enough attention due to other priorities.

So when can jealousy becomes a big problem in a relationship? When it gets to the point of making the other partner uncomfortable and borders on paranoia.

Here are some pointers to check that the relationship is laden with extraordinary possessiveness:

Your partner gets uneasy everytime you glance at another attractive person, or he/she admires your God-given looks.

Your partner gets nasty if you spend time with anybody other than him/her, even if it’s your family or friends. It gets to the point that you’d end up having no life other than him/her.

Your partner starts questioning your friends behind your back, making your every move doubted and motives held suspect. Sometimes it can get so out of hand that you feel like you are being stalked.

To solve the problem involving possessiveness, its important to help figure out why he/she feels this way. Talk to your partner. Communication is the key always and if all else fails, counseling may help those who are unable to help themselves.

Insecurity always sets when one partner is much attractive, witty or charming than the other. Lack of attention gives way to possessiveness, making them want to cling to their partner and grudge the attention they are bestowing on others. Or probably you gave him/her the reason to be this way by cheating or being unfaithful.

Jealousy can cause damage to the relationship, and most of the time, it is irreparable especially if you have never given them reason to doubt your commitment to them. To solve the problem, its important to help figure out why he/she feels this way.

Communication is the key always. Don’t argue and get into a heated debate about it, instead try to rationally explain that you weren’t doing anything. Even if you were, reassure them that it was harmless. It’s human nature to appreciate something or somebody good looking without any deal about it.

Flirting with other people,will just worsen the problem. It’s important to realize that this is something not to indulge inside a relationship. Flirting with someone is a pleasurable distraction, but is not essential to your happiness, so quit it and keep the peace. It’s important to note that you also need to respect your partner’s insecurity so that he/she would trust you wholeheartedly.

If strong signs of possessiveness continue to show, make him/her understand that it is not healthy for a relationship to spend all your time in each other’s company. Encourage him/her to spend time with family and friends. Let him/her know that friends and family are important for you but he is the most important person in your life.

But if only one between the partners is doing all the adjustments then maybe it’s time to call it quits. Raging jealousy can hurt a relationship which eventually can lead to complete distrust. Remember that trust is a vital element in a relationship and without it, it will not work. Once this happens, it’s better to recognize that you’re fighting a losing battle.

 

 
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