In every relationship, there will always be arguments and disagreements. The only difference between relationships that last and those that do not is by the way that couples resolve such conflicts. In a way, fighting between couples is always a possibility in every relationship. It is the manner of how they fight that matters. Here are some tips for couples to “fight” without having to ruin the relationship.
Stick to the point.
Couples fight because of a certain disagreement over something. But over the course of the fight, it can be easy for couples to veer into other things that are no longer associated with the initial conflict. What can happen is that the fight will just escalate and escalate and with no let up in sight. To avoid this, try to stick to the initial conflict and not bring up other unrelated issues into the fight. That will be a more mature way of handling conflicts and resolving them faster.
Avoid that “all or nothing” trap.
There are also times when the argument starts to trigger a long-held frustration one may have over the other. The argument then leads to blame that are somewhat untrue- the other “always” doing this or “never” doing that, even if one may have done it only once or twice. It elevates the argument into something that puts blame on the other based on the “all or nothing” attitude. It is easy to be carried away by emotions that may lead to this. But as much as possible, consider giving some level of respect to a partner by not going to the extreme with arguments over certain habits, especially if it is not true.
Get rid of the insults.
One thing that can further worsen any argument is by using insults. Trying to belittle or demean a partner does nothing good but harbor more ill feelings toward the other. It does not help resolve the argument or conflict either. If you wish to resolve problems and disagreements faster, avoid getting carried away by your emotions and sending insults that disrespect your partner during the height of arguments.
Sleep on it.
There is a popular relationship advice that couples should not go to bed angry. But there are times when going to bed during an unresolved conflict or argument may just be the right thing to do. Intense arguments can get couples too worked up and stressed. After hours of doing so, they can feel tired and come at a time when both people no longer has the drive to resolve any of the issues but just to shout and argue. Muddled thinking can sometimes worsen conflicts. It is during such times when a timeout from the fighting may be necessary. It will give both partners to think over the issues on their own and reflect on their own actions as well. The rest may also give them time to lower the intensity of emotions a bit, at a point where both parties can go back to being rational.