How to Cope with a Controlling Partner

controlling partnerIt would be very important to handle and cope with a controlling partner. Once you realized that your relationship is starting to get shaky, it is precious for you to stand in the continuum, look at the problem with an open mind and decipher on the situation.

A controlling partner isn’t innate; at times they have the reason to be controlling probably because you drive them unconsciously. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango, nothing just emerges and it would be better if you look at yourself first.

Blaming the problem solely to the "controlling" partner doesn’t help. A naturally full-blown good and bad partner doesn’t exist; they became what they are depending on the circumstances.

Basing the whole argument simply by telling your partner what you don’t like about him/her doesn’t make you feel different from him/her. Talking about things, listening what your partner’s concerns are and telling him/her your own concerns are essential to make the relationship work.

Coping lies on the idea of changing what you can and accepting what you can’t change. This goes vice versa.

If the controlling partner is extreme to the point of violent rage and is emotionally or physically abusive, it is time to seek outside help. No amount of your pleading is going to change his/her attitude. If he/she doesn’t like the idea of going to counseling, then it’s time for you to drift away.

It’s important to set boundaries. If your partner chooses to control through manipulation rather than verbal demands, you have a difficult job ahead of you. For example, if he/she is the one choosing the clothes for you and hates what you like because he/she plainly hates the clothes you wear. Tell him how you feel about the choices he makes, this becomes a pattern of control.

Always make room for a healthy negotiation. Arguments do not help that much. Work on accepting him/her for who he/she is if changing him/her is unlikely or difficult. Focus on their positive qualities that led you to be with them in the first place.

 
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