Dealing with Negative Self Talk

self talkSome singles may have more difficulty into finding a date simply because they think they let themselves feel bad by constantly talking negatively to themselves.  "I’m not beautiful enough," "No one will like me," or "I think she would just avoid me if I approach her."

Even though we cannot always control the situation you are in or how other people perceive you, you can still change the way you think about it.  Negative self-talk hurts because it always feels true.  Your thoughts may often be biased or incorrect, and you end up assuming that they are fact when in fact those are just perceptions. 

People who think negatively about themselves usually experience depressing, which is why it is helpful to keep an eye on the things you tell yourself while challenging some of the negative aspects of your thinking.  Here are some ways to help you dispute your negative self-talk.

Compare your negative thoughts with reality 

Challenge your negative self-talk by providing physical proof for and against your perception.  Ask yourself if your negative thoughts have factual basis or just merely your interpretations of the matter.  You need to find out if such thoughts are actually true.

Look for alternative explanations 

Challenge your negative perceptions by looking for other ways that you could look at certain situations.  If a girl rejects you, do not jump into conclusion that she does not like you.  Maybe she is just busy talking to her friends, or perhaps she did not like how you approached her.  Try looking at the positive side of things and see how you would perceive such scenarios.

Put things in perspective 

Do not quickly dismiss any fault or rejection as the worst thing that could happen to you.  You are probably is not as bad as you are making out to be.  You can also check if there is anything good about your situation, or would it even matter in five years time.

Think with the goal in mind 

Think in such a way that would make you feel good or achieve your goals.  Obviously, any negative thought would only do you wrong and would not help at all.  Look what you can do to solve the problem either by yourself or with the help of friends.  Think of what you can learn from the situation and do it better next time.

 
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