Dealing with Unfinished Business

couple breakupYou have had your heart broken a million pieces, cried out buckets of tears, and spent a lot of sleepless nights after you have broken up in your previous relationship.  As time went by, you felt that you are ready to fall in love again and go out on the dating scene. 

However, before you could even put on those red shoes with 5-inch heels, you need to resolve several personal issues, starting from your emotional preparedness.

Gaining the courage and openness to deal with unresolved issues in your love life is your only way to create a space in your life needs to welcome a new relationship. 

In order to understand what issues you need to resolve, review these questions.  Take note that the answers may not necessarily be just your exes.

Is there anyone I need to say sorry to, or seek resolution with?

What moments have you unwittingly done something wrong to someone?  You may not realize it then, but some people tend to hold on to grudges for quite too long, just as how you hold on to those negative feelings.

Is there anyone I need to thank?

Do you have a habit of being unappreciative when people are kind towards you?  Forgetting to say "thank you" is not alibi enough, as it shows your level of appreciation and gratitude.

What negative feelings come to mind when thinking of people I’ve had any kind of relationship with?

Have you really gotten over your ex?  Do you fear about developing your feelings towards a friend you have an attraction with?  Do you resent your parents, or any relative?   

If a friend mentions someone’s name in passing, would there be a negative physical response to their name coming up in conversation?

Did you feel your heart just sank at that moment, or it went up your throat?

Your answers depend on your past experiences, and it can reflect how you are as a person.  Do not be surprised if the list of people increases, as you work to resolve these unfinished businesses or have more time to ponder about them. 

If you have held on to the guilt about a specific relationship or something you did years ago, it is very certain that apologizing would let that burden go away. 

If the person is difficult to contact-either they have moved away, passed on, or simply you do not want to talk to them anymore-write a detailed apology note on a piece of paper, then burn it or put into a helium-filled balloon and let it fly into the sky.

 
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