Blind dates can be nerve-wracking. You have probably read some horrible blind dates on the web or, worse, on TV. But having a blind date doesn’t have to be that bad. It is supposed to be an exciting way to meet new people to hang out with, or even end up on a relationship with. So don’t feel frustrated, as here are some useful tips that you need for that successful blind date.
First impressions always last, and it’s really important to create that good impression on your blind date. How your date sees you within just minutes of meeting you sets the stage for the entire date. That is why you should first give importance to your appearance and grooming. Remember, you only have one chance at that first impression, so make a good one.
Select clothing that is appropriate for your date. Select a casual get-up for a lunch date or going to the movies; or put on something more dressy when planning for a nice dinner date. Also, do not wear clothes that are too revealing, strange, or over the top.
Get a new haircut or hairstyle, which is most advisable a day before the date. For women, it is best to have your hair styled at the salon several hours before meeting your blind date.
Wear an ample amount of perfume or cologne. Do not overdo it though.
Don’t forget to shine your shoes and iron your clothes if needed.
Most important, arrive early. Showing up on your date late can affect your date’s impression on you.
Keep yourself safe
Even if blind date can be fun, you should never let your guard down.
Consider a public place for your date venue like a restaurant or a park. In that way, you would feel more relaxed in getting along with your blind date.
Make sure that a friend knows where you will be and at what time. Also, tell your friend the name of your date.
Carry a cell phone with you at all times. Use it to call emergency when needed.
Keep your first date short
A simple short date is a great way to meet someone on a blind date, especially if you are meeting someone for the first time. If you do not feel the connection or chemistry with your date, you can simply make an exit right after. However, if you are interested, you can stick around some more or arrange to meet up again in the future. Some recommended options for a short date include meeting up for coffee, a drink date in the evening, or a lunch date during the weekday.
Keep your schedule flexible
Make sure that your first blind date would not coincide with other concerns such as work, especially if you are planning to make your date longer. Flex your schedule with additional activities with your partner such as going to the movies, dancing at the club, or joining a group activity such as yoga classes.
Whether the date goes well or bad, being polite with your date creates a mark on your personality.
Greet your date with a handshake upon meeting with him or her. Starting it off with a kiss may send the wrong message.
Smile, even if you are nervous.
Be a gentleman. Open doors, hang up her coat, pull out her chair. Even today when chivalry is a dying trait among men, it is best to provide respect to your date.
Women should always be thankful. Be grateful after he opens the door for you, thank him after he pull out a chair for you.
Be polite even when you are about to leave the date if you feel like it isn’t going well. You could tell your date that, for instance, you have to leave early because you need to work right after. However, if your date seems to be working, just “scrap” the plan and stay on with your date.
One of the biggest mistakes that people make on a blind date is that they try to be someone that they aren’t. Just be honest and be yourself. Answer questions honestly and talk about yourself without exaggerating facts. Remember that your date wants to know who you are, not who your date wants you to be.
Talk and listen
Conversation is extremely important in making your blind date a success. Ask about your date’s career, family, even about his or her friends. Remember to keep the topics light, aiming at getting to know more about your date. Also, let your date talk and you should listen. Show an interest to what he or she is saying. Don’t forget to talk back and create a conversation, or else it would become a long and boring date.
What you should talk about:
Ask about your date. What does he or she do for a living? Which state or city was he or she from? What are his or her interests and hobbies?
Ask about your date’s family and friends. Is your date come from a tight-knit family? What does his or her friends do when they go out?
Talk about yourself. What your date has revealed about him or her, tell to your date about your side as well. That keeps you from revealing too much about yourself, but you could tell more about it on your next date.
Compliment your date. If he or she is well-dressed and well-groomed, compliment about it as soon as you meet your date. Drop compliments (don’t invent them though) every now and then during the conversation. However, stop complimenting once your date feels uneasy about it (but that rarely happens).
Discuss about movies, TV, and music. Ask your date if he or she likes to watch movies (or TV, music) and know his or her favorites. Make a connection on your common favorites. If there aren’t any common favorites, just say what you like.
Open-ended questions. Stimulate the conversation by asking questions that do not end up with a “yes” or “no” for an answer. For instance, if your date revealed that he or she is into tech gadgets, ask what would be his or her dream gadget to own.
What you should NOT talk about:
Do not discuss past relationships. The purpose of a blind date, or any date for that matter, is to search for potential partners and not to weep about your each other’s exes. If your date asks about your past relationships, just tell him or her of how long your most long-term relationship lasted.
Do not talk about religion and politics. People will always have different opinions about these topics, and most of the time they would not agree. Arguing about your date’s stand on topics like abortion or gay marriage is definitely not recommended.
Topics that do not interest the other person. If you have an interest that your date finds unusual or boring, stop talking about it. For instance, if your date feels uninterested about your passion in Rubik’s Cube, then look for other topics that both of you feel favorable with.
Do not ever say anything that would offend your date or anyone else. Being mean and inconsiderate does not make a good impression.
Do not monopolize the conversation. Remember that conversations are supposed to be two-way, so don’t forget to let your date talk and listen to what he or she would say.
Do not cross-examine your date. Asking too much about your date’s particular detail would make him or her uncomfortable as you are stepping into the bounds of privacy. For instance, do not ask too much about your date’s virginity after he or she revealed that your date hasn’t had any sexual encounters.
Mind your language
First impressions do not only focus on your appearance, but also on the way you communicate both verbal and non-verbal. Your date may scrutinize your tone of voice, the words that you use, and even how your body reacts. As we said before, just be yourself. Do not be to stiff, instead you should relax and react appropriately.
Also, don’t forget to keep your eyes on your date, not on others around you. Another good body language is to face your belly button towards your date, an indication that you are interested to him or her.
Check for warning signs
Even if you are not supposed to enter a blind date with bad expectations in mind, you should keep an eye out of some warning signs that your date would not be a good partner.
Your date wears a wedding ring, even if your date claims that he or she is divorced or widowed.
Your date talks about past failed relationships. This is an indication that your date is not open to entering a new relationship or is anticipating for another bad relationship (and would talk to his or her next date about your relationship).
Your date speaks badly about his mother or exes. This especially applies to men who tend to bad-mouth about other women, especially their mothers or ex-girlfriends. If he ever does this, it means that he would most likely disrespect you as well.
Your date does not offer to pay. Although men are dictated by etiquette to pay for the first date, the women should at least offer to pay for their share of the meal.
Your date is directly rude at you. Once you notice that your date is either rude or even making fun at you, end your date as soon as possible.
Your date is rude towards waiters. This is a good indicator on how your date treats other people, including you (even if he appears to be nice towards you).
Your date drinks a lot. If your date is drinking excessively during your first date, it is most likely that he or she would do it more often and could even destroy your relationship.
Your date does not pay attention to you. It simply means that your date is uninterested. If you feel that there is no connection or chemistry between the two of you, end the date as soon as possible.
Ending the date
How to end your blind date depends if it is a success or a failure.
If you meet your date at his or her house, take him or her home. If you do not have a car, a cab will do.
If you meet your date at a public place, volunteer to take him or her home. If your date declines, offer to hitch a cab for your date.
Be thankful to the other person.
Tell you date that you want to see him or her again. A good indicator of a successful blind date is if the woman offers her phone number to her date.
Kiss or hug. How you do it depends on the situation, although it is best for the man to “feel” if the woman “expects” to be kissed.
If you meet your date at his or her house, take him or her home. You could at least keep your politeness towards your date.
If you meet your date at a public place, offer to hitch a cab for your date.
Be thankful to the other person, but indicate that both of you do not have a lot in common.
If your date asks for your phone number, politely decline.
Hug your date, especially if the date ended mutually. If your date was a total failure (arguments, signs of rudeness), shaking your date’s hand will do.