There is no denying we are social creatures. Dating sites, online personals, social networking websites, social bulletin boards, and the like scatter the wide world of the web. You must have been into at least one within this lifetime.
There would come a time though that you would hit a wall. You have been diligent in sending private messages for the purpose of hooking up or just extending your personal network. But no one is sending a response back. You then doubt yourself, thinking you have lost your mojo.
Do not fret. Perhaps your streak of luck may have ran out on you, but it does not mean you would not get it back. Here are some quick tips to get you return to normal and snag that date for the weekend.
Get to know her first. This may sound ironic since your purpose of sending her a wire is to get to know her. But that is the reason why she has a profile posted online. It is by perusing her account would you find out what her personality is and what makes her tick.
From there, you could plan your attack. However, this is not the end all and be all. Sending her a message would let you know much more about her than what her profile enumerates. Other than that, make sure that the account is still active so as not to waste your time sending to someone who does not log on anymore.
Use spellcheck. Although this is a given, it is the first commandment in composing a message. Sure, some people are not particular in how you wrote it, but it does not hurt to be at least grammatically correct. This creates a positive first impression on you. And do watch out whenever that red wiggly line pops out.
Arm yourself with wit. Lots of it. Speaking of first impressions, nothing perks the curiosity of the cat than a well written subject header. Actually, this goes for the rest of the message. If you do not sound interesting, and at the worst case, canned, it would be easy to press the ignore button on you or trash your message altogether.
Introduce yourself but do not show all of your cards. This goes for the initial foray of sending the introductory message. It should state your basic info and nothing more. You are not applying for a job, so why bare all? Besides, it is good to keep some mystery.
Keep it light. Especially in the first message. You are only introducing yourself, no need to talk about quantum physics right off the bat. Something funny would mean you are an amusing person and this would surely pique her interest. Again, wit comes into the forefront. A play on words would combine the ideas two-gether.
Lay off the Hallmark lines. Save it for the postcards. When you play the humor card, make sure there is some depth on it and it is not some canned joke. Cliché is another synonym for overused.
The words make the man. Choose your words well. What you write reflects who you are. So as not to be vague to the other party, you can state your intentions, but be subtle about it. It does not help you a bit if you are being brutally straightforward writing down, "I want to knock your socks off because you look hot in that white bikini in your photo gallery."
There is no need to be direct. Females could read between the lines. "If you want to be physical, you would rather talk about wine than coffee," shared a lady who is a veteran in receiving proposals and messages on the internet.
Strike a balance. In every Yin, there is a Yang. Same thing with PM’s. Acting as if you are God’s gift to women would create the opposite reaction, and sharing your fears and insecurities would not endear you more. Be confident but do not be cocky. "A girl would like to be with a guy who is comfortable with his own skin," she explained.
End with a question. This is psychology more than anything else. The natural reaction when somebody posts a question is that the other person has to answer it. With her reply, you begin another set of exchanges, and what you would have eventually is a non-synchronous conversation.
Maybe she is just not your type. If you do not get a holler back after following all the steps, maybe she is not into you. Plain and simple. No need to feel bad about that. There are still a lot of fish in the sea as they always say. That is the primary reason why you are in a dating site because there are so many options to choose from.
Choose well and do well.