Raising a child on your own as a single mother while working long hours every day could certainly take a toll on finding a romantic partner. You would even question whether you need to date, fearing the pain and heartbreak it may bring.
But giving your life for your child should not mean you should give up on your own life. Your child will grow up eventually and you will be the least cool person for him to hang out with. You cannot just sit alone watching reality shows while your child is out with friends. The Orlando Sentinel has compiled great dating tips for single mothers to find that perfect partner.
Say yes to dating – Find time to date, whether by dating guys you weren’t interested at first because of trifle reasons (he has a child, he’s too short, etc.) or being set up by friends and relatives who mean well. If the date does not go well, consider it as a practice.
Tell the child that you are dating – Some single mothers tend to wait until a relationship turns serious before they break it to their kids. The problem is that we do not known when a relationship becomes serious and once it does, the child would be so shocked that his mother was actually dating. The truth is children will never be ready to accept their mother is looking for a new romantic partner. Simply speak to them candidly about it, but emphasize that they are still important to you. Give them time to process the story.
Spare the kids about the details – Stay mum about how you feel about dating again. Children remain selfish as they still want to keep you and hate to hear about the joys of your new love. And they don’t care that you have broken up either. What they are concerned about is whether you are happy or sad and whether you would spend more or less time with them.
Have your partner meet the kids, eventually – The general rule of thumb is to wait at least six months before introducing your new partner to the children, especially if you feel that you are in a serious relationship. Do not expect your kids to accept having a new father figure right away. Remain patient and engage more with the people involved: The kids, the ex, the new man, and yourself.
Do not be in a rush – Enjoy the dating process in your own sweet time. This is not a race of having more children or getting a big white wedding before you reach 40. This is about finding a new partner whom you will spend the rest of your life with, all while keeping your responsibilities as a loving mother. Use your wisdom and experience as you get this second shot at the dating field.
Source: Orlando Sentinel